Recovery Break

By April 5, 2019 November 28th, 2019 My Life on a Plate, Uncategorized, Writing Stuff

8 Days Post-Op 💪🙏💫

After so many years of suffering (mostly in private, because it’s quite a personal subject), last week I had a total hysterectomy. I had my entire womb removed – so that’s my uterus, my ovaries, fallopian tubes and cervix all taken away.
I’ve never really spoken about this, outside of my close circle, because it’s been a really rough journey, and I was often embarrassed to talk about my health.

I started going through the menopause in my twenties, but because my body was so young, it put up a real fight against the process, and I ended up going through a brutal battle with my health. For over a decade, I’ve suffered with tumours, endometriosis, an early menopause, and all the other health problems that have been a by-product of it all. I was just exhausted all the time, and the process seemed never-ending because my body still wouldn’t let itself go through it without a fight.

I threw myself into therapies of all kinds. Medical support, mental health support, emotional therapies, holistic therapies, spiritual therapies, psychedelic therapies, shamanic therapies, the lot!
Each one has helped me that little bit more, to feel, deal and heal. And I don’t regret any of those years of suffering, because I learnt how to be very kind to myself, and they all brought me to a new level of awareness and love. 🙏💫💕

In the end, though, my body couldn’t take any more, and so it was the right decision for me to have my womb removed. I’ve grieved, I’ve allowed, and I’ve surrendered.
It’s a painful process, you know? Physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically and spiritually painful 😔
But I feel that somehow, my womb has been freed from the trauma that she had been carrying for so long. 💫

So, here I am now.
Home from hospital, and all first post-op hurdles overcome! 💪👏 First pees, first poos 😂, first days back home, first time being able to sit up by myself in bed.
First time being able to walk around the house unaided, first meal eaten, first shower, and taking the dressings off my wounds.
I wrote a couple of poems, did a shamanic healing journey, and I’ve started meditating again.
Feeling very positive, and celebrating the little triumphs! 🎉🎉

I will be taking some much-needed time out from work, and the next year will be spent in total recovery mode. I plan to rest a lot, eat a lot, watch Netflix a lot and just generally be really kind and gentle with myself as I recover as harmoniously and peacefully as possible. I’ve started writing poems as a source of healing throughout this experience, and I have to say, I’m absolutely loving it! It’s so freeing to get all my emotions and grief out on paper, and being able to journal my experiences through poetry gives me a real creative and therapeutic outlet. The things I find difficult to actually talk about, I write poems about. My writing has been brought to a bit of a standstill as my health deteriorated over the past few years, so I’m hoping that once I feel well again, I’ll be able to get that creative energy flowing again to get some more work done, but in the meantime, I feel very grateful for having the rest of this year to nurture myself back to good health.

Maria xx